I remember saying a prayer before I slept last Friday night, asking to guide me in making the right decisions.

I got up and I was still having second thoughts on going to the YFC event. After all, I could just skip the games during training and go straight there. I asked my parents if it was okay with them if I'd go there since my friends that they know would be there. I also shared to my mom worries that I had if I went there. I won't mention what those worries are but all my mom said was give it a try and see for myself.

I got to training and Ate Danica and Hannah were there with me, as well as Enzo and Jann. I saw Topet and Edeline there too but they left since they were going to attend the YFC event. I trained, got sweaty and all, got a good work out and I got dressed and waited for my dad. Ate Danica was supposed to join me but she changed her mind at the last minute so I ended up going there by myself.

When I got to the CAP Auditorium, I saw the freshies outside first then I saw Micah by the place where they sold the tickets. I got my ticket and went inside. The first ones I saw were Michael, Nikki and Gilleanne so I sat near them. Also, the others were surprised that I was there since I told them that I wouldn't go when they invited me to come. By the time I came, the acapella performance of Pisay was already done, unfortunately. I thought I wouldn't catch up with the other performances but I got to watch some band and dance performances. They were all good, but my favorites were the performances by SMAD for the band, and PWC for the dance (Bleeding Love!). The other people I saw there were Joey (who sat with his fellow Marisians) and Paolo (who sat with the people from CDSI). I managed to find Topet since Ate Danica and Hannah asked me to convey a message to him, but I didn't get to.

When the worship proper was about to start, there was an interpretative dance which was about good versus evil (something like that) and some story telling by YFC members from other schools. The story telling/sharing was all about LOVE - love bears all things, love believes all things, loves hopes in all things, and love endures all things.

Love bears all things. A student from UIC (his name is Elixir according to Micah.. cool name!) shared his experience growing up as a loner and a quiet and shy person until one day, his parents told him what if he would change. So, he was enrolled into UIC and he first met a friend during some school celebration and from there he started to get out more and be extroverted. He also shared that his band was looking for a band practice place from 6pm-10pm. I could imagine all the fun that I would be experiencing if that happened to me.

Love believes in all things. Joey's batchmate from SMAD (his name is Mikee, according to Micah) shared his story about his studies, specifically in Chemistry. Before sharing his story, he asked everyone of us who has a hard time in Chemistry. Of course, I raised my hand since I found Chemistry hard during the 3rd and 4th quarter of my sophomore year. Anyway, he shared that he wouldn't listen to Chemistry class and his teacher even reported that to his mom. He also said that it's okay not to worry about Chem that much since it's only for one year (lucky for you dude but for us geeks, its 3 FREAKING YEARS). But eventually he had some realizations of some sort and made things right. I forgot the other details.. Boo at me.

Love hopes in all things. This story was the most errr, sentimental of them all. The one who shared was the current president of YFC in Ateneo (I think her name is, Nica?) and she shared that she did almost everything to make her parents proud. While saying that, she broke down and cried but we cheered her on and told her that she could go on and share her story. She told us that her parents often got mad at her since she didn't have good grades and she wanted to be the YFC president to make her parents proud. Unfortunately, she didn't get to go on since she was crying so the former president of YFC came to her and told us that she saw Nica's struggles ever since she was a freshman. I kinda related to her since my parents would sometimes make me feel worthless when I do something wrong, even if I had good grades.

Love endures in all thing. Micah was the one who shared this time. I was expecting that she would share about enduring Pisay life with all the lab reports, RESEARCH (grar), and maintaining the grades to stay in the school. But before that, Micah asked us, "Who here has a hard time in Biology?". AND DUH, US PISAYERS REACTED WITH MUCH VIGOR AND I RAISED BOTH MY HANDS. Seriously, our Biology now is hard. So many terms, processes, stuff to remember. Gah, info overload. I even remember Ma'am Tenchavez telling us that she always gets feedback to give less difficult quizzes during teacher evaluation. I admit, I wrote that. Hahaha. Anyway, Micah ended up sharing about her older sister who engaged in sex before marriage and she got pregnant. Micah also shared that she and her siblings all helped in taking care of her sister's baby even if times were hard for her sister then.

Then the worship part came. The part that was the reason why I was there. I always ask God to control my life and He led me there for a purpose. I don't really remember all the titles of the songs we sang but I'm sure the first song was entitled 'All For Love'. I kinda got the hang of the song even if I wasn't familiar with it and in the middle of the song, I started to break down and cry. I felt guilty for neglecting God even if he kept on showering blessings upon me. I admit that I only pray if I need something like guidance for the exams, and the like but not just to say thank you for the great stuff I've been receiving like a loving family, crazy friends, good food, top of the line education, generally everything that has greater value than earthly things. So, I just sang at the top of my lungs, praising God, as my tears just rolled down my fat cheek, telling God that the hunger pangs I felt were for him and I didn't care about anyone around me. It's my moment with God, so don't mind me.

The next song was another tear jerker since the lines were something like, 'I am yours o God, take me as I am..'. My tears still kept on flowing but I wasn't alone. A lot of us cried as well. So, we're all in fellowship. Nothing to be ashamed of, eh? I remember the next song was Adonai and it was more upbeat so I just started clapping with the others and jumping and dancing around. But, the last song was the best. ONE WAY. It was the highlight of the night since almost everyone knew the song and all were jumping around pointing to the heavens, to God above us who is watching over.

After the worship, there was a raffle for free registration for the Regional Youth Conference and other things. The ones I knew who won were Micah, Pabs Jr, Lavi and the dude from SMAD who shared during the worship. After that, the winners for the contests were announced. And the winners are..

BAND - University of the Immaculate Conception
DANCE - Philippine Womens College

Thank the almighty God that it's Friday, for next week will be no sleep for me.. AGAIN. Darn.

I think I woke up kinda late again today. I sleep at 9:30pm and get up at around 5:45am but it still feels like I still lack a lot of sleep. Anyway, what the heck did I do today.. Math! Still fun as usual, for me. Sines and cosines amuse me in a weird way. So odd. Hahaha then we had Socsci instead of Filipino. The activity was fun since we had this speech choir thing and the topic was either the good or bad stuff about the Renaissance or a mix of both the good and bad. As for my group, we made fun of the people back in the Renaissance. Like we said that Leonardo da Vinci plucked Mona Lisa's eyebrows since he wanted to have a salon someday or saying that Michelangelo touched his sculptures private body parts since his sculptures were of nude people. We didn't mean it literally anyway. We just did it for laughs. Good thing is that our teacher had a good laugh as well. Then during Physics, we had this super easy seatwork then in Statistics, my mind just drifted off..

And then Bio came.

BIO WAS FUN! Hahaha. I really liked the combination of sodium hydroxide (lol HYDROXIDE) and phenophthalein. Both chemicals are clear colored but when you mix them, it turns fuschia, hot pink or something like that. It just brought out the ignorance in me and, it's pink yo! Anyway, the lab experiment required us to run around so, Grace and I (since she was my partner) started running around and exercising. So much for trying to lose the fats. Hahaha. After that, the sodium hydroxide and phenophthalein suddenly got spilled onto the table and I had a hard time cleaning it up since it always turned pink and stained the table. Eventually after using a rag instead of tissue, the mess finally got cleaned up. Great, time for the iCons festival thing.

The iCons thing was, okay I guess. It's gonna be featured in TV Patrol Southern Mindanao on Monday night, according to the dude from ABSCBN. What was really fun was the time when I was teasing Ian G and the cameraman from ABSCBN who was behind Ian G was laughing since Ian G said that he/she's gonna be famous. Okay, I won't comment on that. Lmao. And I think they video-ed Sir Ponch was well.. Yes, the Ponch! But I'll be looking our for Ian G.. That would sure be, surprising. After the exhibit thing, they made us watch this film about hackers and everything. It kinda amused me since there are such professions as ethical hackers who are paid to hack into rival companies' databases or files so that the company they're working for can analyze trends in competition, etc etc etc. And yes, hacking has been existent ever since the late 1970's. So, amazing? Hacking could be fun, but I don't really like computer codes so, never mind. I'll just find a hacker and watch him or her hack a system. That would be fun. Lesser brain work. Oh yeah, I got my IQ test results! My IQ is 124 and I'm above average. It's okay I guess. Anyway.

At 3pm, we were allowed to have our first Friday mass at the Quadrangle. I attended mass of course since I know my parents would ask me if I did.. And duh, it's the first Friday. Anyway, the mass wasn't dragging since the homily was really short but meaningful (WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN THOSE LONG DRAGGING ONES.. I tend to daydream if that's the case..). And the funny thing was the mass celebrant's name was Father Edsel. When we heard that, a lot of us reacted since we have a classmate named EDSEL. Anyway after the mass, I went out early since my carpoolmates and I agreed to buy food at Kopi Roti today. I ate a Kopi bun and Kopi jelly, as usual. I got down at Assumption and walked to Holiday since my dad told me he'd fetch me there.

At Holiday, I got to chat with Kuya Mitch and Kuya Randy first. Kuya Mitch told us that all of us are so caught up with Research since he always sees in our stats in YM that we're stuck with Research after classes. Gaaaah the cons of Research! NO SLEEP. Anyway, I also got to talk to Ate June (the one at the front desk.. haha) and she said that I looked stressed out and all. I also asked her if my eyebags were big and yeah, she said yes. I don't feel offended actually. I just can't really judge if eyebags are big or not since it's the first time I had let's say, "halfway to severe" eyebags. I usually get dark circles in my eyes, but it's due to the lack of sleep. So as of now, I have the dark circles and eyebags. Ah, the mark of a die hard Pisayer. I don't feel bad anyway. Most of us have it, so.. I fit in! Hahaha. And I also got to chat with Ate Cherryl (my former gym trainer during the summer) and I didn't get to finish my story to her since my dad already arrived.

I got home, had penne again for dinner. But this time, pomodoro style! With bacon and olives. Yummmmmmyyyyyy.

So what the hell will I do tomorrow?

Training. Duh. A lot of people have been inviting me to go to the YFC thing tomorrow at the CAP auditorium but I can't. First, I haven't asked permission from my parents to do so. Second, I already promised Hannah that I'd train. I don't want to leave Hannah alone there in training, since the others are attending the YFC thing right? I'm such a good friend. Hahaha. Good thing Che and Darlene pointed out to me to prioritize commitments first and hopefully, there's a next time. I was actually having doubts to go to the YFC event since my ulterior motive was to go there for friendship. But then, I was afraid to go since I might be out of place and all. Che told me to go to the event for God so that it wouldn't be a waste. She's absolutely right. I'm trying to strengthen my relationship with God but sometimes, I end up slacking off. I don't even remember the last time I prayed. Gosh. Then I remember.. My parents spent two to three hours a day just to pray. One hour in the morning, noon and night, each. I'm not the prayer book kind of person. I talk to God as if he's a friend to me. Now that my life is in a whirlwind, I need to talk to Him and I plan to do it before I sleep. I really need to fix my spirituality. Hope God is generous enough to give me time to redeem myself.

Speaking of being afraid that I'd be out of place, I need to get out of my comfort zone. It was actually Darlene and Che who pointed that out to me. They told me that maybe I stay in my comfort zone much more then getting out that's why I feel this way. For some reason, they're right. I always tell myself that I'm a risk taker but after all this time, I'm still playing it safe. I think I'm following my value system way too much than what is expected. I think I need to bend my values a bit. Maybe a bit of alteration with limitation (lol it rhymes!). And maybe, experiences in the past traumatized me, particularly back in grade school. That might have damaged my self esteem and trust in myself partially. I guess I've been too hard on myself huh? Maybe, maybe.

This caused me to have very vivid dreams these past few days. Last night, I dreamt that I was in an amusement park. This morning when I woke up, I read its dream interpretation and here's what it read..

"To see or be in an amusement park in your dream, indicates that you need to set some time for leisure and more enjoyment in your life. Consider how everything in the park is an expression of some aspect of yourself. Alternatively, you may be too easily distracted lately." - from dreammoods.com

Thank God for friends who give constructive advice. They're for keeps. :)

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PICTURES! Finally. After I don't know how many years.

I know you agree with me!

But look at the mess it could make. Lol.

Randomness: MEET PEGGY! Angel's apple-monkey! *giggles*

I have this theory that people who don't have much confidence in themselves are those who are most likely to be jealous in any given situation that yields jealousy. If that's the case, count me in.

I'm planning to get a massage tomorrow night. It's a good thing my dad asks me if I want to have one when he gets a massage. Hope I fall asleep so I won't get too ticklish.