My brain is shutting down but my body is still working.

I left the house at around 10am to go to SM since my research groupmates and I agreed to meet in SM to work on our methodology. Prior to that, each of us had some parts on the methodology to work on so it would be easier. My task was to do the gathering of data, location and flowchart bit of the metho. Anyway, I met Mariel first at Coffee Dream while waiting for JB but we started working already. In between, I bought iced mocha there and a fish fillet sandwich from Roadhouse (2nd time this week!). Then about an hour later, JB came and he did his share of the work. I'm glad to say that we accomplished a lot of things today and we have hopes in getting a 1.00 in teamwork! HAHAHA. And that completes the genesis of our dear research proposal. Good thing Mariel volunteered to add the "finishing touches" in our metho draft. And, all of us already agreed on what chapter to revise for the final copy. JB's gonna do Chapter 1, I'm gonna do Chapter 2, and Mariel will do Chapter 3. Gah, the RRL and I will meet again. I still have so much stuff to add, it might give me a major headache for, a week? Oh well, that's life in Pisay. Er anyway, after finishing the metho draft, we saw Maxine, Hani and SM and I left for training.

Did I mention that my mom asked me to buy bean sprouts? Geez. My mom always asks me to buy veggies whenever I'm in the mall by myself, or with my friends. First she asked me to buy monggo. The second time she asked me to buy turnips. The third time she asked me to buy, I think it was guavas. WHATEVER. I don't have a choice anyway. Lmao.

So I arrived at Holiday an hour and a half before training. All I remember was eating the other half of my sandwich and, eating peanuts which EJ's mom gave me. Then during training, it was mostly footwork. Footwork's essential but the thing I don't like about it is that I can't "feel my feet" when I'm at it for a long time. It's just, weird. I feel my feet burning as it creates friction in my socks. And it made the muscles in my thighs ache. I guess the footwork bit was okay since Coach Leo told me my footwork was good (which I took as a compliment since I usually hear people tell me that my footwork sucks) but the way I played was HORRIBLE.

I didn't like the way I played today. It's like my mind was on shut down mode and I didn't even think I was in a game or something. Must be the stress, and one of its symptoms is lack of concentration. I do lack concentration since I haven't had a good night's sleep for the past I don't know how many weeks. I'm starting to feel that I'm losing my good momentum in playing badminton. My smashes have undermined, and I am also undermining. I feel so weak and, lost? I seriously need to focus on my game more. The stress is deteriorating my focus. Shizmssss.

So after training, I got dressed, chatted with the others and went home. I ate dinner and now I'm blogging. Wow, I do have a life. *sarcastic*

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I've been feeling introverted for the past few weeks already. I do interact still but, I feel introverted most of the time. I choose to spend time alone and engage in deep thinking. It feels, very, very, very, awkward. And my inferiority complex is overshadowing me again.

I wish there would be even just one day in my entire life that I'd forget every single freaking thing I'm insecure about.


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I think I know what I did wrong. *smacks self in the head*